I fully believe God has blessed me (us) with a season of rest. I am working to soak it up and allow it to bring the healing I so desperately need. Did you know something can be easy and hard at the same time? Truth. This "rest" thing is both easy and hard.
I have long been somewhat of a controlling person. Not so much controlling others but one who likes to have control of her life, her schedule, etc. I don't very much fancy having people tell me what to do, what I should do, or what I shouldn't do for that matter. I like to make my own decisions and I am prepared to handle the repercussions of those decisions, should any arise.
Enter the Idaho vision. This was not a vision of my own creating. Nope, it was a God-given notion. One he gave this concrete- loving city girl four years ago (2014). God made it so heavy on my heart that Jake and I created a three-year CA exit strategy. That didn't work. Probably because that wasn't part of God's original vision. Ya think?! Two years in we had made ZERO headway with the exit strategy. In fact, it looked like we were never going to leave because God brought Dempsey's cancer journey to us and made it front and center. Complete with crippling PTSD for me, a heavy load for Jake's shoulders, a mine field for Sawyer's brother heart, and a battlefield much larger than our warrior has yet to grasp.
In addition to all of this, the Lord also brought a Holistic Nutritionist certification to me, more experience with whole food supplementation, more understanding of essential oil benefits, a deepening discipleship relationship with a dear sage (who remains a pilar for me when needed), a willingness to be broken in the hopes of feeling true redemption from this world... and more.
You know what? After I received the Idaho vision, other people received a similar vision. You know what else? Those people MADE IT TO IDAHO BEFORE ME. Do you have any idea how frustrating that is? Let me tell you... IT'S FRUSTRATING. It felt like people were cutting in line and this justice-loving, control freak doesn't appreciate that. BUT, and it's a big "but", I was able to receive advice and guidance from that sage I mentioned earlier. She could speak into my journey from a few steps ahead. It's amazing the wisdom you can gain from that scenario but it doesn't always lessen the frustration.
Fast forward to today and I'm sitting here typing to you from IDAHO. Talk about a dream come true. Granted, the path to the dream was not smooth. Instead it looked more like intense switchbacks with thorny vines at your ankles and rude branches sticking out over the path just far enough to poke you in the face or snag your clothes. There were setbacks brought on by personal exhaustion and exterior circumstances (aka cancer journey, job hunting, etc). Yet, we made it. The Lord brought us to the promised land... kind of.
Why kind of, Coral? Because we are jobless. We are renting, which means we our roots will not go too deep here and that is a bit unsettling. We still have CA license plates. We don't have a home church. We have a tiny number of friends to call community and one family that we are doing life with. I simply feel like God hasn't completed the vision yet. Trust me, I believe HE is working on it... like a master craftsman slowly and faithfully plugging away at the creation his mind and hands are desperate to create.
So, why did I title this post "Rest"? Because I feel that is the word that describes where we are right now. We are in a season of plenty where we can simply rest. It is a glorious place to be. We can walk and talk with the Lord with no distractions. We can pour into each member of this family without having to run off to work or school or... or... or... We have plenty. We are not in a state of deep need or want. We are enjoying the Idahoness of our physical surroundings (ie kind people, slow pace, lack of vulgarity, lack of selfishness and greed, surplus of genuine and helpful people, etc). My PTSD is being rolled back. I no longer have adrenaline begin to seathe through my body when I hear loud music. I no longer feel the need to start praying for strength and emotional, mental protection whenever my car is headed in the direction of home. I no longer long to be out of CA... because I am.
Did you know the Bible mentions "rest" a lot. The reference that best fits our current season is probably Matt 11:28-30:
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
I had to surrender a ton... my timeline, my desires, my plan, my expectations, my mental heath, my family, my friends, my network, my comforts, my present, my future, and much more. Often, I would leave these things at the cross in prayer but when I was done praying I would pick them back up. Can you relate? What things, awful or precious, do you need to surrender in the name of peace and in the hopes of sharing the yoke with the Lord? I am not done surrendering, by the way. I still have to daily surrender the unknown of our current situtation. Can I tell you a little secret? It gets a little easier to surrender each time. I, in no way, shape, or form, have mastered this. I simply no it's something I need to do and I try to do it sooner each time.